I Wish

To my dear Jack and Kamden,

This life, it is short. It can be amazing and it can also knock you down and kick you in the nuts. You cannot control the knocks or the kicks but you are the captain of your own ship. You control how you react to the knocks and the kicks. No one else. You control where that ship takes you in life. You and only you. Always remember that.

In this life, I wish for you:

Love. Deep, unconditional, passionate love. May you find that special someone that was meant to walk beside you as your equal through this life.

Laughter. May you always find the humour in the situation and never take yourself or any situation too seriously. (Except when you put your Daddy and I into a retirment home, take that VERY seriously. Please?)



Passion. May you find that which engulfs your body and soul, makes you strive to be better and also provides for you and if applicable, your family. Not just a job but something that fufills you to your very core. (I am allowed to wish for my kids what I don't have, right?)

To know your heart. May you always be true to yourself and follow your heart wherever it may take you. Be confident in your decisions. Own them, good or bad, they are yours as are the consequences that come with them. Learn from your mistakes with no regrets.

Happiness. May you find true happiness. It's yours for the taking. If you follow your heart and your dreams, you will find it.



This is what I wish for you.

And also, while you are off doing all of that, call your Mom and Dad every now and then, okay?

Love Mommy

I've gone off nuts, it's official

If you are a regular reader (hi, y'all, you know how much I love you, right? M'wah) you know about my health issues. I have pretty much maxed on any help from the medical side of things. I am on hormones, which have helped immensely, however, the migraines that began the day before we left for Hawaii this past January have not budged. In fact, they love to pop up at the most inopportune moments, like smack dab in the middle of my Pilate's class a couple of days ago. Not to mention that my thyroid and adrenal glands could just up and go the way of my ovaries whenever they feel like it.

A friend mentioned (Hi Jackie!) a naturopath. What the hell I said, what have I got to lose?

So I went a week and half ago and I won't lie, parts of it had me going, are you serious?

For example, the Velcro straps that she put around my ankles, wrists and forehead that were connected to a small box with blinking lights that proceeded to tell her computer all kinds of things that normally would require extensive blood work. And then, and this had my mom laughing so hard she couldn't talk, to see what supplements would work well for me, she proceeded to place bottles of liquid on top of the box with blinking lights.

I know, I know, I should have an open mind but how, on God's green earth, does a bottle of liquid on top of a box tell her how my body will react to whatever is in the bottle?

And if this works so well, why haven't we abolished invasive blood tests?

Anyway, I didn't really go for that part of it, though I am taking the supplements the blinking box said would work and I feel good. What I went for the diet and nutrition part. I believe strongly that what I put in to my body has a huge impact on its productivity and well being. I have already learned that fitness goes a long way, surely improving on what I am eating will also help. And in fact, maybe I can even prevent further health problems such as a slacker thyroid. If I can, why wouldn't I?

She (the naturopath, we'll call her Shirley), put me on an elimination diet. That means that for three weeks I can't eat dairy (no surprise here, I have been lactose intolerant for years), sugar (I may have audibly gasped when she said that), wheat, eggs and peanuts. WHAT? No peanut butter and honey toast for breakfast? You are KILLING me slowly.

I love sugar. I love baking. I love my toast for breakfast. In no particular order.

That was a week and half ago. I honestly thought giving up sugar was going to put me in the loony bin. It hasn't. I am okay. I have some honey every now and then to keep me sane and I am good to go. What might surprise you (Hi Mom and Dad) is that I have not eaten chocolate since I can remember - likely the day before I started this diet, I have a short memory, what can I say. For me, this is an eternity. And I am still breathing. Wonders never cease.

What I would do though is cut off my left arm for a piece of bread. Slathered generously with peanut butter and jam, full sugar jam (if only I could be that much of a bad ass). Almond butter is good, but it's not peanut butter.

Today, armed with advice from several wheat avoiders, I hit up the health food store. Lo and behold! A whole array of flours that nary did see the stalk of a wheat plant. It was like I hit the mother load.

I bought a bread mix that while it contains some sugar meets the rest of the requirements. I baked it up the minute I got home.



The second it came out of the machine, I sliced a piece and slathered it with jam (sugar free).



It was good. And I finally feel full. Taking wheat out of my diet left very few carbs and I need me some carbs to feel full. It's a process. I am learning. And I feel great.

I'll let you know how this adventure turns out. Or Jay will in between visits with me in the loony bin.

The makings of a great weekend

A few weeks ago, I had a really good idea. I needed to do some shopping. You see, last winter, I was akin to a burning inferno so I purged my closet of all long sleeved tops that no longer fit. This year, I am more like an Arctic ice berg and the purging of last year, while necessary, left me with no more than three long sleeved outfits. That and the jeans that I wear on a daily basis were down to two pairs that fit. I needed to shop.

While the shopping here is okay, know the shopping is even better in the city where my good friend, Cheryl, lives; not to mention the company is spectacular. Because you see, what I also needed was some serious girl time. You know, the kind of time with a good girlfriend that lets you hang loose.

So being bright and all, I check flights, confirm with her that the weekend works after checking with Jay and then HUZZAH I booked it.

A trip, on my own, where there was no work required has not occurred since about 1993 (remember New Year's Jenelle?) For me, this was extravagant. I don't do this. My husband also does not go on trips on his own. We are weird like that. I do like a weekend away and my job over the last few years has provided weekend trips frequently enough for my liking. However, I have not had to travel for work since September 2008. Not that I am complaining, trust me. Those weekends are fun but they are also filled with 10 to 12 hour work days. This weekend involved zero, zilch, nada in the way of work and instead provided good conversation, excellent food and some serious shopping.



You can see her take on the weekend here.

All with this gal. It was just what I needed. We chatted, and chatted and chatted some more. You know you have a great friend when you never run out of things to talk about. She also has a knack for making me try on things that I would not normally try on. And then I love them. And then my credit card internally combusts.

I kid.

She also took me for sushi. I have only had it once and it was, putting it mildly, icky. But she raves about it so I had to see for myself. It was delish. I am already craving it again. I am on the hunt for a good local place.

All in all, it was pure fun. I came home yesterday to the smiling faces of my boys feeling great. It was just what I needed.

Cheryl, her husband Tim and son Cole, were gracious hosts and I cannot thank them enough for welcoming me with open arms. I had the best time with the best company.

Let's do it again really soon.

(To see more pictures from Cheryl and Tim's fancy basement where I had the privledge of staying, see my Flikr stream here. )

The stages of mothehood

Wow, where did the week go? I have no post here but if you are dying for some Kami you can head over to and read my post over at Canada Moms Blog about cutting the apron strings. The anticipation was scary but once we jumped in with both feet, it's been very liberating.

Thankful

Up here in the Great White North (and no, I am not happy that I can now say that with accuracy, it's only October for goodness sake) this weekend is Thanksgiving. I am going to go out on a limb and guess that we have ours a month and half sooner than our American friends due to the fact that winter comes ever so much earlier here. It's hard to slaughter a bird when it's Arctic-like out.

Can you guess what I am not thankful for? That's right, we'll take winter for $400, Alex. It's here. It's barely October. Yes, that's me sobbing uncontralably in the corner. Thanks for not kicking me on your way by.

But lest you think I am a complete ingrate (you wouldn't be far off though, just so you know) I am actually very thankful for many things.

I am thankful for my two boys who can go from superheros keeping the world safe from evil



to compasionate, loving young men who find great joy in snuggling up with a stuffy. Their collections are extensive and their love for each of member makes their momma's heart swell.



They have a good role model, you see.



This family of mine is what I am most thankful for and that includes extended family with whom will will have the pleasure of celebrating with this weekend.

To all my Canadian friends, may you share love, laughs and happiness with family and friends this weekend. May each of us find the joy in our lives to cherish. It is what is most important.

Happy weekend everyone!

Ps If you have trouble commenting here, please let me know. It was brought to my attention that it is a regular occurrence. Also, how do I fix it?

I strive for mediocrity

My life goes in a pattern. I try something, I fall in love with it, I eat, sleep and breathe it but then my interest wanes so I move on to the next thing.

In the time that I focus on the task at hand I learn quickly. I learn enough to be good at it. But I always feel like I hit a ceiling whereby any further effort will be for naught. I never get to great.

Thankfully this is never the case with the important things in life just the hobbies. Over the years I have tried figure skating, horseback riding, indoor climbing, photography and most recently running.

I quit figure skating after six years of hard work. In that time I made great progress. I started at a late age and was always behind the girls my own age but that didn't bother me at all. I made great strides at closing the gap in that short time and that made me feel good.

A few years later my parents got me a horse (yes, I may have been a tad spoiled, why do you ask?) and I began taking lessons. I loved it. It was like coming home because I had something new to learn and strive for. It filled a void that skating had left in my life. Again, I lived the sport, spending hours riding, practicing, reading about it and traveling to local clinics to learn from the experts.

Then University and that whole career thing that follows got in the way and I said good bye to my horse. Then came the kids and the change of carreer.

I still tell myself that someday I will ride again but the truth is I likely won't because new hobbies and passions have taken over. There is only so much time in the day.



It does give me pause to wonder though if maybe I am satisfied to be mediocre at everything I try and once I achieve that, my attention span is maxed out and I move on to the next thing.

But at the same time, I have no regrets about the path my life has taken. Each activity I have participated in has taught me something invaluable. I wouldn't be who I am today if I had not been passionate about each one.

I do wonder though where I will be in five years. Will I still be running? Will I still be trying to improve my photography skills?



Only time will tell.

Harvest on the Prairies

Today, I am on Canada Moms Blog remembering my time as a child during harvest on the farm.
Somehow I think it was a simplier time, a simplier life, or maybe it was the fact that I was a kid.

Or the rose coloured glasses I like to wear.