Thursday, October 16, 2008

Imperfect Happiness

Hey there, remember me? It's been a week and half since I posted and I don't think I have ever gone that long without posting unless I have been away. We haven't been away.

I have been here, busy with nothing in particular, just the day to day stuff.

Last Friday when Jack had a day off school, I was chatting with my mom. I mentioned that the boys were driving me crazy and it was only 11 AM.

That's when she commented that all she reads on here is how much I love being a mom and how fantastic it is.

Um.

Yeah.

So guess what?

Perhaps I save the lovely flowery life is perfect BLAH BLAH BLAH for this. Maybe that's why I haven't posted in a week and a half. Who really wants to read that drivel all the time anyway?

I haven't been feeling the life is perfect sort of stuff lately. I mean, there's nothing wrong per se. Nothing at all. Maybe my hormones are out of whack yet again. They have a tendency to do that causing hot flashes that make me wonder if I haven't died and hit Hell with a fury like I never intended. If the hormones can do that, then the probably mess with my mood too.

The truth is that while I do LOVE being a mom and a wife, there are days.

Days when kenneling my children is really appealing. Apparently it is frowned upon though. Clearly those people don't have children.

Days when the lip from Jack has me madder than grizzly bear who has awoken from hibernation in the middle of February. When did 7 year olds start lipping off like teenagers anyway?

Days when I say things I really shouldn't to my kids. Calling your son a chicken is also frowned upon in case you were wondering. Not that I have done that or anything but that might be an idea for another post so that you don't all abandon me for being the worst mother on the face of the earth. I am pretty sure I am in the running for that honour.

Days when I neglect spending quality time with my children so I can get the laundry, cleaning, cooking, blogging, twittering and scrabble playing in.

Days when I spend more time yelling at the kids to hurry up and no time slowing down and loving them.

Let's stop here and give a shout out to my friend, guilt, shall we?

I can't do it all. I don't even want to fake that I can. Life is a balance and for the most part, I think I do okay. But is it perfect and lovely and wonderful and full of sunshine and rainbows all the time?

NOT EVEN REMOTELY.

And if I have portrayed it as such here, I must set the record straight.

We get crusty sometimes. It might be lack of sleep, it might be hunger, it might be hormones.

We have disagreements.

The kids fight and we yell at them to stop it in the name of all that is holy already.

But at the end of the day, would we change a thing.

No.

Well maybe the yelling and the not slowing down and the disagreements and and and......

But if life were perfect, you would have to wake me up because how incredibly boring would that be?

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24 comments:

Lori said...

sounds like mommyhood to me. hope things smooth out for you. it also sounds to me like you are in need of a mommy's day out... a day to be Kami not Mommy

Hannah said...

Um, SAME! You read my post 2 days ago, right? That's right, because you left me a lovely comment. Go and read it again, and then apply it to yourself. Uh-huh. That's right. We ALL have days like this. And I think many of us save the sugary stuff for our blogs and don't always post about the crud.

We're all in this together! Us moms need to stick together and remind each other that it's NORMAL to feel this way sometimes, and it's normal to have bad days. Just as long as we celebrate the good ones too :-)

((HUGS))

Natalie said...

yup... i agree with lori. you should organize a night out with friends or a date night with the hubby!

i think i do the same thing with the posting. i mean really, some days i sit down and just want to read other blogs and escape from my day in and day out frustrations and read about everyone else's fabulous kids. :-)

and by the way, my almost 5 year old daughter is back talking right now like a teen too! where does she get this crap? i doubt that she learned it from me being moody and talking like that to her daddy. hummmm... probably learned it a school... from the other kids... yeah, that is the story i am going with!

Tracey said...

Sounds like LIFE to me. Lots of ups and lots of downs but TONS of in-between.

teeni said...

Speaking for the rare childless couples these days, I can vouch for the fact that we too, have many of these days you describe. So, I don't think it affects only moms. Although you may feel more guilt for having less patience with a child than I do for having less patience with my cats. LOL. ;)

Life isn't perfect. We all have our days. It's the big picture that keeps us going. :) Hugs to you, Kami. I think you are doing a great job. Remember, even Martha Stewart has (a LOT of) behind the scenes help!

Anonymous said...

I didn't mean to press a "hot" button or anything, I just wanted to remind you of the good times...because they are great! I know, I am a Mom too! and I've been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, etc, etc! Have a good week my dear and do not be so hard on yourself! Luv, Mom

Kristin said...

Sounds like you are totally normal to me! We have days like that over here too, but like you I love it.

KAYLEE said...

hugs

mamatucci said...

Well we all definately have those kinda days,weeks... And for those people who say they dont,I just find it so hard to believe.
Today on the way home from the dentist,I told my kids I was going to trade them in! Probably not the best choice of words. But hey I'm human

Melanie said...

Sounds totally like my day today. Or should I say week. I've been dealing with totally over tired cranky kids all week and they have been driving me crazy! But it is at the end of the day when I think back at some cute thing they said or did and all is well again. In the mist of the hard times there is always good and you just have to look for it.

Angella said...

You're just like the rest of us, sweets.

COMPLETELY NORMAL.

Hugs to you!

Ed (zoesdad) said...

I like the roller coaster!

sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

"NOT EVEN REMOTELY." that made me giggle.

i am a mommy of teen daughters. i am a survivor.

thanks for keeping it real. i know it is not easy, day by day, moment by moment, but i look forward to the day when the kids realize ah ha, so that's why you didn't think i should do x. i love you mom.

it will come.

good luck to you, kathleen in anchorage alaska

Elaine A. said...

WHAT?!?!?! You're not perfect? Oh, I am SO out of here...

JUST KIDDING! Nope, can't get rid of me that easy, sorry! : )

Thanks for speaking the truth my sister! Let's face it Parenting IS pretty dang tough at times. Guess that's why God makes 'em so cute and gives us wonderful times too, to balance things out.

Chin up my friend.

Oh and you got any of that awesome meal left? ; )

Stacie said...

a perfect life would get real boring, real fast.

hang in there, we all have our moments to shine and our moments of head burying.

LVGurl said...

Sounds like my days... :)

Kellan said...

What a great post, Kami! Can I just sign my name at the bottom under yours, cuz ... this is my life too!!! Well said and I hope you get "happier" soon and out of that little slump, hot flashin' thing going on!! Have a good weekend - Kellan

Alex Elliot said...

I was talking about this to another blogger the other day. I think part of the problem, for me anyway, is that there's a big chunk of things I don't feel comfortable posting about because of my kids' and husband's privacy so that sometimes leaves me with posts sounding like everything is perfect when it's not.

Anna-b-bonkers said...

Whew!! I am so glad you are normal! Ha, ha, I knew you were but really I still want lessons, you rock!
And I hear you on the hormones, mine are a mess! I feel like I don;t want to do anything but lay on the couch. This then means that the kids think I want to read stories to them endlessly all day. It is ok but every once in a while I have to get up for a drink of water. Laundry, dishes, cleaning....not happening.
love you!

Threeboys1mommy said...

Sounds about right to me.

Karen MEG said...

Kami, didn't you know that in my real life I sh*t rainbows?

You are so real, girlfriend, I loved this post. You, crusty though? I don't think so. Too cute.

"Kenneling", what a concept! Speaking of which I've decided to pull the G out of daycare (even though she's probably eating better there and having way more fun than she ever has at home, despite the crying the night before)... because her tugging heartstrings strategy and our pal Guilt is killing me.

ooh, and boys getting lippy ... yup, that happens, and boy do I get steamed when I complain to the Hubs and he tells me I should watch my tone too ... Okay, you've got me started ...

Stacie said...

tagged and awarded on my blog, come see.

R Family of 4 said...

I am glad I have you to share the good, bad and ugly with. Hugs to myou my friend, here's to more good days than bad :-)

BeachMama said...

Sounds a lot like my house right now. I fear I haven't been blogging enough lately because my life just seems so boring as a Mom right now. I long for some of the excitement we used to have before J started school and we could go to a museum every other day or playdates or whatever we wanted without having to be committed to school every morning. Which of course gets the best side of my child as we all seem to wither after lunch.