Sunday, May 31, 2009

We were on a BREAK!

This weekend, I broke up with my computer, temporarily. It was like the scene with Ross and Rachel, you know the one, where she said maybe they should take a break and Ross thought she meant go for ice cream. My computer thought I was just going for ice cream but I meant see you in 48 hours, hosta la vista baby.

I have been finding that I come down (my office is in the basement) to check my email "quickly" and before I know the black hole vortex that is Twitter/Facebook/Google Reader has sucked me in for far longer than I care to admit. So this weekend, because I knew I had zero work commitments (and I don't want to even consider how long it's been since I could say that), I opted to not even hit the power button on the old laptop all. weekend. long.

The weather here was gorgeous. I know some of you might not even believe me, what with all my ranting about winter and all, but summer actually does come to this place which I not so affectionately refer to as the Arctic.

These buggers where attempting a coup on our lawn:

Dandelioness craptolus. My dandelion digger was working overtime in between running through the sprinkler with the kids and other yard work. Can I just stop to say that my husband is the greatest? Well I am gonna. The yard is looking smashing thanks to a little elbow grease on both our parts (okay, okay, so he did the hard stuff, he's got the advantage of testosterone, what can I say?)

I happy to say that there now is substantially less yellow and a whole lot more green in the lawn now. I loathe dandelions with all that I am.

The time away from the internet left me time to ponder. To reflect. To wonder.

I am a million contradictions all rolled into one.

I am simple.

I am also complicated.

I am judgmental.

I am open minded.

I hold grudges when I feel wronged (also, I suck).

I am fiercely loyal.

I also push away to guard my heart.

Over a year ago, I dropped out of splurge group that I had been part of for three years. I dropped out for many reasons but one was the fact that I had a pretty active social life. The group had morphed and changed such that the people that were close friends, I spent time with already, outside of the group. The others were lovely people, but I barely had time for those that were dear to me and for other reasons that involved guarding my already tarnished heart, I opted out of the group.

Fast forward to now and it seems, like Murphy always dictates, my social life has slowed to an (almost) dead standstill.

As I am want to do, I wonder what I have done to push people away. There have been times when I stopped calling/emailing and low and behold that person dropped out of my life. I won't lie, that hurts. I guess there is a reason but eventually I wonder how I can stop offending people or whatever it is that pushes them away so that this doesn't happen.

Then I say, screw it, I am who I am, I am not becoming someone else just to keep friends.

But then I go back to the fact that I am a work in progress, and that I know better than anyone that there is always room for improvement.

The problem is, what do I improve?

So here I am. Stuck in the middle of that dilemma. Yes, it is close to that time of the month, why do you ask?

All the while knowing that those worth keeping as friends will stick around and those not worth it will drop out of my life. I just hope there are a couple left at the end of the day, you know?

I think part of the reason for the break from the internet is the realization that this on-line community that I have the privilege of being part of is fabulous, but it is does not, in any way, replace the need for real live friendships.

But it sure is a great place to lay it all out on the line to clear your head. Thanks for listening and don't hate me for hitting mark all as read in my reader. I still loves you, I just need to maintain the fragment of sanity that is left.


Sunday, May 24, 2009

3k, Our way

This morning we got all suited up with our numbers. We were ready. We had trained.

Cutest racers. EVER.

Ready and raring to go. 10 minutes till race time.

Half way and still smiling.

The homestretch. I made them run across the finish line. I am mean like that.

We're done!
The boys did fantastic. They had fun training for our 3 km walk and we really enjoyed the "race". And then for some classic irony we enjoyed hot dogs and hamburgers after. At 9:45 am.
Next year, 5 km!


Thursday, May 21, 2009

How to become a tree hugger, like me

I have to say following up the last post was, well hard. But after thinking about it for a week, I have decided that I am going to share with you all how I have become a tree hugger. Or as my friend likes to call me, a crunchy granola.

Since some of you may be beginners at this, I decided to start small. You know, as if you were, say, one of my kids.

This is how we teach our kids to be tree huggers. After all, kids learn by doing.

First step. Find a tree. Second step. Hug it.

The first couple of times it might feel weird, I know. The bark is not exactly soft and cuddly but I assure you, if you try it a few times, you will get used to it.

Ps. Any donations for my therapy are welcome.


Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Present

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift - that is why we call it the present."

- author unknown

Do you ever sit there and ponder the events that led you right here to the place you are in right now? And how amazing it is that all the stars, planets and comets aligned to put you right where you are?

It must be the fact that I hit two milestones last week, turning 35 and celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary, that has me pondering this.

Who knew that this shy little girl

and this handsome boy
were meant to be together?

Who knew that the paths their parents chose, would lead the two of them together in July 1993? (And by paths I mean, moving, a lot)

Who knew that each move their families made, would lead them closer to that one pivotal moment when they would first lay eyes on each other? (Or in Jay's case, his arm)

You can call it fate, God's divine intervention or coincidence. Any way you look at it, it takes my breath away.

I knew almost immediately that this guy was the one for me. The one for all time. The one I could be me with, who didn't need me to be anything other than who I was. He was more than I ever dreamed of (minus some fashion sense, but that's what I was for).

Together we have built a life. A wonderful life that includes careers, a home but most of all, more love and support than I could ever imagined. From only our love, we built this.

It's been a ride. A ride that I would take again in a heartbeat. Because the ride ends right here, right now. And this place that we are in. It's pretty great.

We took a trip to Banff in the Fall of 2000. It was a trip that would change our lives. Once again, the stars aligned to put us right where we needed to be. Our Jack was conceived on that trip. We didn't plan that. It just happened.

Because it was the path we were supposed to go down at that moment. If we hadn't headed down that path, life could be very, very different.

There's a baby in there!

We were young at the time, younger than a lot of people are when they decide to start a family. But it was the right thing for us. For me.

Because if we had waited, things would not be as they are now. I found out a couple of weeks ago, from a specialist, that I am not menopausal. But rather have premature ovarian failure. Essentially it means that my body is attacking my ovaries causing them to stop functioning. At this point, even if I wanted to go through IVF, it would be futile. My ovaries don't work.

Talk about putting life into perspective. This news literally brought me to my knees. I spent a lot of time pining for a third child.

My husband, this man that I believe was made just for me, saved me the heartache of knowing that my body had failed me.

Never look for what you don't have. Instead, acknowledge the miracles that occurred to give you what you do have.

Today is indeed a gift.


Monday, May 11, 2009

A weekend of celebration

These last few days were busy in our house. Thursday was my 35 (*cough, cough*) birthday. And to celebrate I was in a picture from the half marathon that ran in the the Community Seniors section of the Sunday Sun (local Sunday newspaper). Apparently some 70 year old lady was also running the half marathon and finished a mere 2 min behind me. How awesome am I? More importantly, how amazing is she?

Friday was our 10th wedding anniversary and Jay took the day off so we could go get him some much needed new clothes. He has lost weight in the last few months. After finding out his cholesterol was slightly elevated he has taken to eating much healthier and exercising. And his cholesterol is down not to mention his pants size. I couldn't be prouder.

And then it was Mother's day. Jack had to give me the gift he made at school when he got home on Friday because he was just so excited. I love me some homemade presents from my kids.

It was a great weekend. Birthdays are just so much more fun when you get to celebrate with these guys!

Back to regularly scheduled programming - whatever that is!


Monday, May 04, 2009

Hanging around

This week we finally, after years of talking about it, put up a clothesline. We were not sure where to put it in the yard so that it didn't block the entire yard off hence the eight year decision period.

Finally, we realized that the best place wasn't in the yard at all but instead in our screened in deck. During the cold part of the year we cover the screens so in the early spring and late fall it gets smokin' hot in there thereby extending the use of the line. Because during that season that begins with W that is considered a four letter word in our house, we won't be using it. Unless we want our clothes to shatter into a billion pieces. Wait, I see the way to a whole new wardrobe....

This weekend was beautiful. Inside the deck it was lovely. I do believe the clothes took less than 2 hours to dry. And I felt a bit pioneer woman like hanging them out to dry. Trust me, I didn't look like one in my yoga pants and hoodie.

And you know what? It wasn't as much work or as inconvenient as I thought it would be. Sure I have to plan ahead because I can only fit one or two loads out there at time. But in the grand scheme of things, that is no big deal. And I have always ranted and raved to my mom (she's nodding vigourously right now) about the smell of clothes dried outside. They smell dirtly to me. Like I do when I come in all sweaty and in need of a shower. Now don't you all run out out an set up clothes lines at once based on that comment.

But I didn't notice the smell. Maybe there is no sweat in the deck? Or the wind with all the sweat in it didn't get at the clothes. Okay, okay, I'll stop now.

One more step towards lessening our impact. Next up is composting. To get worms or not to get worms, that is the question. Better yet, why does our city not have a composting program set up? WHY?

As an added bonus I got to play with my camera because what better subject is there than socks, underwear and swimming trunks? You all are welcome!


Friday, May 01, 2009

Potato Wars

Behold, Darth Tater.

He's recently been left slightly defenseless with the demise of his light saber however, he is still powerful with his mastery of the dark side of the potato field.

So much so that he is still pursuing the mandate set by his master, The Evil Emperor, to bring Luke Spudwalker over to the dark side. So far no dice, Pan Fry Solo and Princess Lays will have none of it.

Can you tell we've been watching the Star Wars movies? We have made it through the first five episodes and the kids are loving the movies. But I am questioning what possessed me to let my almost eight and five year olds watch them.

I have a post up at Canada Moms Blog about this.

Do you censor what your kids watch? Do you stick solely with Disney? Do your boys have an innate love of all things super hero?

Where do you draw the line? And if you do, is it to prevent nightmares or to keep them away from unnecessary violence?

So many questions, let's get talking!