Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Present

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift - that is why we call it the present."

- author unknown

Do you ever sit there and ponder the events that led you right here to the place you are in right now? And how amazing it is that all the stars, planets and comets aligned to put you right where you are?

It must be the fact that I hit two milestones last week, turning 35 and celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary, that has me pondering this.

Who knew that this shy little girl

and this handsome boy
were meant to be together?

Who knew that the paths their parents chose, would lead the two of them together in July 1993? (And by paths I mean, moving, a lot)

Who knew that each move their families made, would lead them closer to that one pivotal moment when they would first lay eyes on each other? (Or in Jay's case, his arm)

You can call it fate, God's divine intervention or coincidence. Any way you look at it, it takes my breath away.

I knew almost immediately that this guy was the one for me. The one for all time. The one I could be me with, who didn't need me to be anything other than who I was. He was more than I ever dreamed of (minus some fashion sense, but that's what I was for).

Together we have built a life. A wonderful life that includes careers, a home but most of all, more love and support than I could ever imagined. From only our love, we built this.

It's been a ride. A ride that I would take again in a heartbeat. Because the ride ends right here, right now. And this place that we are in. It's pretty great.

We took a trip to Banff in the Fall of 2000. It was a trip that would change our lives. Once again, the stars aligned to put us right where we needed to be. Our Jack was conceived on that trip. We didn't plan that. It just happened.

Because it was the path we were supposed to go down at that moment. If we hadn't headed down that path, life could be very, very different.

There's a baby in there!

We were young at the time, younger than a lot of people are when they decide to start a family. But it was the right thing for us. For me.

Because if we had waited, things would not be as they are now. I found out a couple of weeks ago, from a specialist, that I am not menopausal. But rather have premature ovarian failure. Essentially it means that my body is attacking my ovaries causing them to stop functioning. At this point, even if I wanted to go through IVF, it would be futile. My ovaries don't work.

Talk about putting life into perspective. This news literally brought me to my knees. I spent a lot of time pining for a third child.

My husband, this man that I believe was made just for me, saved me the heartache of knowing that my body had failed me.

Never look for what you don't have. Instead, acknowledge the miracles that occurred to give you what you do have.

Today is indeed a gift.



Jen said...

This was my favorite post ever written by you. I think the same thing all the time and will likely do a post about that too. Amazing how all the stars do align and things turn out just the way they are supposed to.

I'm sorry to hear about the news you received but am glad that you have the support and all that love surrounding you already.

Alicia W. said...

Wow Kami! What a heartfelt amazing post. My favorite of the day by a long shot. Everyone deserves true happiness and you surely found it. Amazing!

Loukia said...

This was an excellent post, what a great trip down memory lane... great pictures! You are blessed with your wonderful marriage and your two beautiful children. I'm sorry to hear about the news you received. But consider yourself blessed (like I know you do)... congrats on your many reasons to celebrate!

Anonymous said...

Wow Kami. That was a great post. More often than I would like to admit, I ponder what brought me here. Fate, God's will, what have you, it brought me and Tony together. Almost 3 years ago, it was 95% finished. We both had made decisions that, while looking back on it, we never should have made. He making a decision that would literally ruin me from the inside out. I made a decision to try and protect what little dignity I had left, and held the family together. It's a decision that I do not regret making (although its not one that I ever wanted to have to make).

I am so sorry to hear of your news. You have a wonderful husband, and 2 beautiful boys. God never gives you want you want, He gives you what you need.

Enjoy your 'gift'!!

Anonymous said...

you realise, of course, i gave up my climb up the corporate ladder in toronto, to move back and sling beer, just so this happy event would occur and have never regreted it...what a

Angella said...

This is beautiful, Kami. I'm all weepy.

You are blessed, indeed.

Anonymous said...

jokes two are a perfect couple and i couldn`t have wished for a better daughter-in-law and mother to my grandchildren...L

Kristin said...

What a wonderful post Kami!

I too love looking back over life especially the past 10 years and see how things have lead us to the point we are at now.

Stacie's Madness said...

beautiful post!
I hope to someday find someone as you have!

Lori: Teacher Turned Mommy said...

what a great trip down memory lane to honor the special relationship you have (o:

anna-b-boknkers said...

Absolutely beautiful!
Your love, your perspective, everything. Wonderful!
Sorry to hear about the diagnosis, but the way to are looking at it, amazing!
Love you!

Cheryl said...

You two are truly meant for eachother, it's easy to's to another 10 years of wedded bliss!
You are so right, be thankful for what you have, it can all change in an instant.
Have a great anniversary weekend!

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

So sweet, Kami! Happy Birthday, anniversary and Mother's Day!

LVGurl said...

This IS beautiful! Sometimes we want even more, because we don't always feel "full." As you pointed out, we usually have just what we need!

So what does this mean for you, now that a specialist has pointed out that you have ovarian failure? How is it treated?

Also? Jack's resemblance to you is *stunning*!

Hannah said...

A beautiful post! You are so blessed. You and Jay are so cute together, and it's wonderful to read (and see, in pictures) what a great journey you have had over the years.

P.S. Ethan loves to quote that saying at the start of your post. He heard it on Kung Fu Panda, of course, but after I explained what it meant, he started quoting it even more!

R Family of 4 said...

beautiful post kami. have a great weekend!

Ashley said...

An absolutely beautiful post Kami!

So very sorry to hear about the diagnosis. You are such a strong person.

Wishing you all the very best

teeni said...

Aw, Kami! I didn't realize you had found out that news about your ovaries but now that explains a lot! I'm so very glad that you got your two wonderful boys - one who looks an awful lot like you did at that age and one who looks an awful lot like your hubby! What an adorable family your love has made and I would not change one single little thing. Congratulations to you and Jay for having made wise choices for your life mates! :)

Kami said...

Beau.Ti.Ful. What a great post. I, too, ponder all the choices, paths in my life that have brought me to this moment, with this man, having this child...I cannot imagine it otherwise...but it seems like it very easily, tragically could have been. Thank God that it's not.
You are blessed. And you are a blessing :)

Elaine A. said...

(warning: this comment is going to be LOOOOONG!)

I think about this a lot myself, especially with Tim and I. He very well could NOT have been in the same place as me on November 11, 1995, after all of his previous life experinces. But he was, and I also knew pretty quickly (something just clicked in me!) that there was something special about him, FOR me! Amazing!! It gives me chills, as did your post. Beautifully stated Kami.

Now, I have change the mood here a little and make a few comments on the pictures..... LOVE your outfit in that first one and OH MY GOLLY do your kids look like you - WOAH!! And that blond hair you had, who knew? ; )

And someone needs to shoot that couch you are sitting on in that one pic, oy! Gotta love the '70's.

But I adore the one where Jay is pointing at your belly, that is just darling.

Okay, I think that's it. Thanks for this gift, today of your post and memories. I loved reading it friend.

BeachMama said...

Fabulous post Kami. You are taking this diagnosis very well, what will this mean for you, physically or medically (treatment wise)?

mamatucci said...

Beautiful Kami.

Wendy@RuensOnTheRun said...

I loved this beautiful post, and I hope you had a fabulous week full of celebrations!!

Misty said...

Touching beyond words. I love you.

Karen MEG said...

"Never look for what you don't have. Instead, acknowledge the miracles that occurred to give you what you do have.

Today is indeed a gift."

So true, Kami, I love how you expressed this.

This, my friend, was the perfect, perfect post. Those pictures through the years, so precious.
And you've shown that you can have a fantastic marriage, and that marriage isn't without it's major life disagreements... but it can work out, and work out well if a couple is really committed to each other and totally in love.

Which you and Jay are. I just want to reach into my screen and squeeze the two of you. And I'm not a touchy feely person, honestly!

And you are handling your diagnosis well... I'm glad it's been diagnosed so you can have proper treatment. It's not a body fail, Kami, it's just the way it is. How could you rock that run with a failing bod?

N'uh, uh. Don't think so.

Karen MEG said...

okay, that should have been "its" major life disagreements... me-bad and clogging up your comments too ;).

Debo Hobo said...

OMG!!! What a wonderful open, emotional and touching post. I am literally sitting here in my office balling my eyes out from start to finish.

Whooo! What an amazing world you have. :)