Jack asked for a Transformer for Christmas. Against my better judgment, which includes the knowledge that he already has a couple of little transformers that fall to pieces if you so much as look at them, never mind try to *gasp* transform them, Kamden and I selected Optimus Prime.
We opened gifts as a family today. A tradition we began about three years ago since we spend both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with our extended family out of town.
We do this for a couple of reasons, firstly, we don't own an 18 wheeler (shocking, I know). This is what would be required on the trip home to haul our gifts to them plus what family bestows upon them.
Secondly, and more importantly, we like to have a day where it's just the four of us and the new toys. The boys get our undivided attention and we play, play and play. It even includes ordering dinner, this year, Thai Chicken Pizza, what else?
Optimus Prime was unwrapped, or uncloth bagged as we do it here, and pulled out of the @#$%#@@ packaging. Seriously, why is every toy packaged like it's an atomic bomb?
Within 3 seconds, 6 separate pieces that make up our hero, Optimus, had already fallen off. Jack tried to put them back on and 4 more pieces broke off of the piece he was trying to re-attach.
Fast forward 5 min and he brings me a pile of no less that 450 SEPARATE pieces of plastic that came apart as he tried to change, and if this isn't irony I don't know what is, the toy that is supposed to, wait for it....TRANSFORM from a truck or some unknown form of vehicle, to a super robot who can save the world.
I felt this was a good time to introduce the correct use of profanity into the boys' vocabulary.
And it hadn't broken if that's what you are thinking. Oh no, the geniuses who designed dear Optimus actually intend for the thing to come apart into no less than 645 separate pieces. The geniuses are getting a nice package full of what remains of Optimus Prime, may he rest in peace.
And then I opened my gift from the boys. It contained a singing snowman (a tradition) and a Shamwow.
I wish I were kidding. This is what happens when you decide NOT to exchange gifts with your spouse. Consider yourself warned.
What did I give him you might ask?
Workout clothes. Maybe we're even?