Sunday, December 21, 2008

Holiday Joy

Jack asked for a Transformer for Christmas. Against my better judgment, which includes the knowledge that he already has a couple of little transformers that fall to pieces if you so much as look at them, never mind try to *gasp* transform them, Kamden and I selected Optimus Prime.

We opened gifts as a family today. A tradition we began about three years ago since we spend both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with our extended family out of town.

We do this for a couple of reasons, firstly, we don't own an 18 wheeler (shocking, I know). This is what would be required on the trip home to haul our gifts to them plus what family bestows upon them.

Secondly, and more importantly, we like to have a day where it's just the four of us and the new toys. The boys get our undivided attention and we play, play and play. It even includes ordering dinner, this year, Thai Chicken Pizza, what else?

Optimus Prime was unwrapped, or uncloth bagged as we do it here, and pulled out of the @#$%#@@ packaging. Seriously, why is every toy packaged like it's an atomic bomb?

Within 3 seconds, 6 separate pieces that make up our hero, Optimus, had already fallen off. Jack tried to put them back on and 4 more pieces broke off of the piece he was trying to re-attach.

Fast forward 5 min and he brings me a pile of no less that 450 SEPARATE pieces of plastic that came apart as he tried to change, and if this isn't irony I don't know what is, the toy that is supposed to, wait for it....TRANSFORM from a truck or some unknown form of vehicle, to a super robot who can save the world.

I felt this was a good time to introduce the correct use of profanity into the boys' vocabulary.

And it hadn't broken if that's what you are thinking. Oh no, the geniuses who designed dear Optimus actually intend for the thing to come apart into no less than 645 separate pieces. The geniuses are getting a nice package full of what remains of Optimus Prime, may he rest in peace.

And then I opened my gift from the boys. It contained a singing snowman (a tradition) and a Shamwow.

I wish I were kidding. This is what happens when you decide NOT to exchange gifts with your spouse. Consider yourself warned.

What did I give him you might ask?

Workout clothes. Maybe we're even?

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18 comments:

teeni said...

ROFL - I would laugh harder but my heart hurts a little for poor Jack. It stinks to see them get all excited about some special toy and then have it fail like that. But you write about it so humorously. Holy crap - A ShamWow? I had never heard of such a thing. Great link though - now I know more than I ever wanted to know. And I kinda want one for myself now. They make it look like the next best thing since sliced bread. You will have to give us a full review on that. Workout clothes? LOL. I think you got the better end of the deal. ;)

Ashley said...

Hey, I kinda want one of those ShamWow's! LOL

Poor little guy. I hate crappy toys that let excited little kids down. :(

Anna-b-bonkers said...

Aww, those dang transformy things, I am now prepared to ward off any begging in the next few years!

The pizza sounds good......so good!
And well, you do love snowmen.....hahaha ;-)
Sounds like a fun day....between the lines.

Threeboys1mommy said...

SHAMWOW! I'm so jealous, and don't get me started on the toy packaging!! What's with the 1000 freakin' twisty ties!

Kristin said...

Ian was reading over my shoulder and he couldn't stop laughing. :)
Too funny!

Enjoy the rest of your holidays, Merry Christmas!

Hannah said...

Tyler has about a dozen different Transformers, and most of them sound just like Jack's new Optimus Prime!! BOYS and their toys, eh? I hope Jack wasn't too upset about the many pieces of Optimus being returned to the store. Oh, and according to Rob, those "instructions" that come with the toys are not worth the paper they are printed on (despite me thinking it would be a "good idea" to read them before attempting the transformation ... it's true - males don't need - I mean read - instructions).

All these B's and Me! said...

Shamwow? I'm so jealous! :o)

Misty said...

Hi Love. Long time, ay?? Ian loves transformers, too...... We'll be together in spirit as we play with the lovely toys.....

Elaine A. said...

Thanks for the warning NOT to buy Optimus. I DO NOT have the patience for that &*@&!! ; )

I like your tradition of opening gifts with just the 4 of you. We may need to figure out something like that too...

Tracey said...

Those darn Transformers... Poor kiddo.

This is a good time to explain to them that not all things on tv are as cool as they seem. Our brutal exposure to that experience was the year Justin got "Slimecano..." I STILL use that crap-ass toy as an example of FALSE ADVERTISING!

Ed (zoesdad) said...

Shamwow! I'm not sure what says Christmas more. That or the Tai Chicken Pizza.

Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra!

Happy Holidays.

teeni said...

Merry Christmas and a Fantastic Festivus to you and yours!

R Family of 4 said...

where was your toy review before i went and got Logy Optimus Prime? We however are going to take our chances, I am far too lazy to go out and find something else this crazy time of year, i guess that is what I gt for doing all my shopping in Nov ;-) Merry Christmas!

Natalie said...

i can't wait for the shamwow review!

oh and i am laughing out loud. i just had to go back and read the whole post (in my best Kami voice) to david because he wanted to know why i was laughing so hard!

does your snowman sing Ice Ice Baby like mine?

oh and i love the tradition of opening and playing with the toys just the 4 of you!

Debbie said...

Sham-Wow...Sham-Now! Isn't that how the TV ad goes? So many levels...

I'm glad you take some time to have fun with just the 4 of you.

Enjoy the rest of the season!

Stacie said...

ah yes, bubba is into legos.......
I am tired of putting the damn things back together...oh, guess that is the point...but for HIM to put them together not ME.

*where's my egg nog*

Karen MEG said...

A SHAMWOW??? You're too funny. (Let me know if it works, though... )

Happy, happy Christmas to you and your boys, Kami!

Elaine A. said...

The best part about you linking to this old post is seeing the old comments. :-) Hope you get to see this one...