Monday, January 07, 2013

Change Takes Commitment

Cold and Pretty

2013 had a bit of a rough start for me in my second gig as a personal trainer. I don't want to talk about the situation in detail because that's not cool. And those of you whom are my confidantes are likely sick to death of hearing about it already. I have to give a shout out to you all though, you all know how to do the support and advice part of friendship right.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My first client broke up with me.  Before I started this new adventure, I thought I would feel like a total failure if that ever happened.  It turns out I was wrong.  The break up was mutual.  I let the client make the first move though because I am, after all, the "professional".  The jury is still out on that, hence the quotes.

I don't feel like a failure because this actually isn't really about me at all.  Okay a little bit, but I will get to that later.

My experience is fairly limited in that from the perspective of someone starting on a journey to getting fitter and healthier, I have only my own to draw from.

By the time I started working with a trainer, I had made the commitment to make it happen.  It being the journey to fit.  It's not a destination, it's a journey that I began five years ago and continues to this day. 

So when I came to my workouts, I was ready, willing and going to do whatever was asked of me. Except when the nausea set in because, of course,  that was my body saying "that's my limit" thankyouverymuch.

I wanted to be pushed past what I thought was possible for me. And I was almost every time.  I kept getting stronger and it would take more to challenge me and I loved every minute of it.

Okay, maybe I am weird but I also happen to know a lot of other people who feel the same way. 

To this day I love the strength and endurance my body can handle.  I would say with ease but that would be a bold faced lie.  But the key is that what it can handle now with a bit of duress is about 100 times more than it could way back then.  I think I did a total of three push-ups during my first fitness assessment, and I am probably inventing two of the three.  The other day, I did 30 consecutively.

In the meantime, I have become a runner, completing two half marathons, about five 10 km races and at least as many relay races.  Five and half years ago, I would have laughed like a hyena if you told me that I would do that.  Hysterically.

My point, right, I should get back to that.  My point is that if you want to make a change, whatever it might be, lose weight, get fitter, make a pinata, or remove the possibility of being on an episode of Hoarders,  you have do the work. With a smile.  And the smile comes with the fact that you know, despite how hard it is, that this pain will get you closer to that goal. 

And tasting that goal is a reward so sweet you will have a bounce in your step and grin on your face for a month.

I know from experience.  So trust me a little, okay?  Just a little.  But more importantly believe. Believe in yourself. Believe that the work will get you there.  Not today, not tomorrow but slowly and surely and safely.

And when you are working out, building a pinata, or cleaning out the pile of stuff that is beginning to resemble an application to be on Hoarders, give it your best effort.  No excuses.  Excuses are just you standing in your own way.

And if someone is helping you out, your trainer, your glue maker, or your daughter who can no longer come visit because the couch has disappeared, make sure that your personalities gel.  If they annoy the snot out of you from day one, they are probably not going to be able to motivate you.  Oh and this can be measured in direct proportion to the number of eye rolls and critical comments you direct at them, just in case you were wondering.

That's where this whole break up was about me.  Personalities are personalities and if they do not work together, they just do not work.  It's not you, it's me....or actually it's both of us.  So there is no feeling of failure because that is out of my hands just like the level of commitment and self-belief of the client.

It's part of the gig.  I was a bit naive going in but this was a great learning experience.  And I will appreciate my other clients (Hi C & RL, you rock!) and my trainer even more (she kicked my butt today and I loved it from the bottom of my  heart).

Amended to add this very fitting quote:

"What if I told you that ten years from now, you life would be EXACTLY the same? I doubt you would be happy. So why are you so afraid of change?" - Karen Salmansohn


Anonymous said...

Great post, Kami. I can't see the point of getting a personal trainer if you AREN'T willing to do whatever is asked of you, so if that's what happened in your case, then I would say that your client didn't actually want to change. After all, they are paying you money to tell them what they should do to get fit/lose weight or whatever their goal may be. If they knew the answers already (or if they knew their limits) then why hire a PT?? I don't know. That's just how I see it. So I'm sure that whatever you did was totally fine and you shouldn't feel bad. As for the personality thing, I do get what you mean. But if somebody has already decided that something is too hard/unfair/not what they expected, then a personality clash will just be amplified. I think even incompatible people CAN work together if they both have the same goal. Again, it comes down to how badly they want it. Chin up girl, you are AMAZING and very inspirational, so just keep doing what you're doing! x

Ashley said...

I have so much to say about this, SO MUCH! I believe in putting in the work. Not only is it the only way to succeed it's the only way you can take the credit and feel proud of it. I love being pushed and I'd love to push others (it's my inner bossy girl). I am SO proud of you for taking this on and the grace you've shown in letting a client go.

Elaine A. said...

I'm guessing that not everyone I photograph will come back for a second time, etc. Sometimes, like you said, you just don't "gel" with certain people, and that is okay.

On a site note, I think you are amazing and look AWESOME!!! Great work, my friend!!

Mrs. Wilson said...

But whyyyyyy can't I just sit on the couch and do nothing and end up with the body and physical fitness I want? WHY?!?!

Between you and my personal trainer sister-in-law, I need to get off my rear end. I did my first work-out of the new year yesterday (and plan to do another today) and it SO kicked my ass. I swear those 3lb weights really weighed 30lbs. So, the timing of this post of yours is PERFECT!!

Oh, and I'm starting a 10k training app on Sunday! WOO!!!

Thanks for always being such a great cheerleader to me. :)

nicole said...

I'm so glad you are keeping perspective about this. There will be inevitable mismatches in this venture, but your successes will far outweigh them. I wish you lived in Texas! ;)

Angella said...

Oh, I love this post, Kami. I feel EXACTLY the same way, both about making the effort, and about loving to push myself.

If you lived here, I'd hire you. :)