Gratitude Squared

Remember when I was waiting a biopsy on my thyroid.  Yeah that was a long time ago, wasn't it?

As I waited for the biopsy, I went through some stuff.  The grouchies would be a mild adjective to describe it.  I offended a few people with a FB post in the process.  Not my best moment but hey, those who have taken the time to get to know me realize that wasn't me and it was a mistake.  Last I checked, we all make mistakes.

The biopsy involved six or seven needles to the throat.  Jay came with me and as usual, was my rock.

It was uncomfortable and sore and all the things you would think but by the next morning, it was all gone.

 

Then we waited and I kind of forgot that I was waiting to find out if I had the C-word.  For some weird reason, I had more trouble with the time before the biopsy.  I can't explain it other than work has been very busy and it occupied me.  I had no time to think and dwell  and that was a good thing I guess.

 

Until the day before I was to find out the results. Then I started getting a bit stressed.

 

 

 

Jay again came with me to get the results.  You know for everyone's safety.  As we sat there waiting I could barely breathe.  I had tried to tell myself it wouldn't be a big deal either way.  We'll deal with it. In a strange method to calm myself, I was actually looking forward to a day or two off work to accommodate the surgery.

 

I know.

 

You do weird things in these situations. 

 

The doctor walked in and checked his computer and said those two wonderful words that I wasn't sure I could hear, "It's negative."

 

And then I stopped holding my breath.

 

I made it all the way out of the building before I collapsed into Jay's arms in a puddle of tears.

 

Then I called my mom and we started all over again.

 



I do not know why I was one of the lucky ones who dodges the C-bullet.  I shake my head still. 

 

What I do know is that I have so much to be grateful for far beyond this one blip on the radar.  I won't always be this lucky but I will always be grateful for what I have.

 

Jay.  He brings out the best in me and loves me despite my million and one faults.  I thank my lucky stars every day for that day in June twenty years ago when we met.  

 

My boys.  They do not know much about any of this other than there was something in my throat being checked.   We didn't want them to worry until there was something to worry about.  I am so glad to be their mom.

 

My parents.  They are always there when I need them. I couldn't ask for more.

 

My friends.  You cannot pick your family but you sure can pick your friends and I have some of the best around.

 

Life is busy and good and I am beyond grateful for every single moment.

 

xoxox