Some of you saw. Some of you asked what is going on. Has Kami gone off the rocker, once and for all? Jay asked if I knew I was causing a fuss when he saw I had 15 comments to my Facebook status that read:
"I am almost 99% certain I will be taking a blogging break and a twitter break and a FB break. And it might not be temporary."
I also Twittered the very same, because, you know, I had to cover all social media bases. Wait a minute, I missed My Space. CRAP. Oh yeah, I don't have a My Space. Whew.
And you thought I wasn't dramatic. Showed you didn't I?
What caused me to have this feeling of leaving cyberspace behind? I honestly don't know but I think it might have had to do with my reaction to a friend's news that she was expecting a baby. I may have patted her belly (yes, yes, I did and I am still as mortified as I was 1.2 second after I did it) and blurted out in surprise (because I am an idiot) that I thought she had a little belly the last time I saw her and that I was so hoping that she was. I won't go into details but this is something that I have prayed would happen for her and her husband for a year now. To say they deserve this baby is an understatement.
GAH. It still makes me feel sick inside. On what planet is that a good way to react?
You might be wondering why something I said out loud to a real life friend would make me want to turn my back on this on-line world. I know I am.
I haven't entirely figured it out but I think it might have something to do with the fact that I do things like this more frequently than I care to mention and spending time here rather than in the real world is not helping that fact.
I am going out on a limb here.
But at least I gave my friend something to talk about. I mean I would be ranting about this weird friend who not only patted my belly, MY BELLY, like it's now public property because it's growing a baby and then told me I had a belly two months ago. Come to think of it, that would make a funny blog post wouldn't it?
See? The fact that I am thinking about it terms of blog post means that I am not ready to give up this blog. I need an outlet to express some of the stuff (fluff?) that swirls aimlessly around in the void that is my mind. If not here, where else? Facebook and Twitter updates don't provide the space and do you really want me to call you all and leave a voice message? Equally undesirable are mass emails, I am certain. Do I have your email? Be afraid. Be very afraid.
I have been spewing on here for three and half years and honestly this is the first time I have considered shutting it down. And really, when I think about it, shutting it down would be like cutting off an arm.
This is part of me.
Sometimes maybe it's too much, sometimes maybe it's just the right amount.
But whatever it is, it's me.
Now if I could just learn myself how to shut my mouth and keep my hands to myself all would be right in the world.
(And help me out, do I apologize for being such an idiot to my friend, or put my head in the sand and hope she's already forgotten?)