This past week was a weird one for me. Tuesday's news sent me into a bit of a funk, I won't lie. I know my health problems are treatable. I know they are not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things BUT they are health problems and they are new to me. I have been healthy my whole life. It's going to take a bit of adjusting, that's all. Give me time. Listen. Understand where I am coming from, if only for a minute. I don't think I am asking for much.
I am also going to work really hard on taking that very advice so I can be a better friend.
We are all entitled to our perspective. Sometimes we need to the see the other side but first, what we need is support, love and understanding. Venting is healthy. It's required for a girl like me who is very opinionated and gets in an uproar frequently. I know I go overboard. I do. I am working on this. When I'm perfect I'll let you know but I am guessing it will be about the same time as pig's fly and hell freezes over.
I don't know how to move on from something without working it out; without a discussion where both parties try to see the other's perspective. I just don't. And honestly, I hope I never do because that, to me, would mean that relationship was not real. It is based on falsehoods and walls and pretending. I would rather have nothing than that.
How do I stay true to who I am and still make improvements? This is one I go back and forth on. I am who I am. But what if who am I am and how I act is not okay? What if others see me in a different light? Do I hurt them like I sometimes get hurt by what others say? And if they told me, would I get defensive and try to justify what I said? Or would I apologize and try harder?
To be human is to be perfectly flawed. Am I perfectly flawed or just flawed?
These are some of the thoughts that are spinning through my head. It's busy up there. It good but on the other hand is sucking the joy and happiness from me.
But alas, that's enough of the pity party. On to more exciting and interesting things.
On October 4, 2009 I will Run for the Cure with Jen (she also made the button - thanks Jen!). We are also running a marathon relay this weekend along with Jay and another couple. The relay leg distances are all under 12 km which seems like a cake walk compared to the half marathon I did back in April. I am excited. It's going to be fun.
If you feel inclined to support this great cause, please click on the button and it will direct to you to the online donation site. Moral support is also welcomed.
I am rejoicing in the fact that while my body may have it's troubles, it can still do this. I don't plan on taking it for granted, EVER.
And my 3 boys, I just have to give them a shout out. Without them, I would be crumbling. Thank you Jay, Jack and Kamden. I love you beyond words.