HOW TO

Sound professional when taking a work related call as a working from home mom:

1) Turn on the TV in the hopes that almost 3 year old will remain entertained for the duration of the call
2) Shush him silently, repeatedly, while still trying to carry on an intelligent conversation after TV fails to entertain after a mere 5 min
3) Continue to shush him silently while he serenades you with Jingle Bells at the top of his lungs in the SAME room you are on the phone
4) Get more dramatic with your silent shushing… (sword across neck) while he takes up the drums on a tin canister you have as décor in your office
5) Run him upstairs to the bathroom when the poop dance starts
6) Give him some privacy to do his business and run back down to office to look at the subject of conversation on computer screen
7) Run back up (try to not pant audibly into phone) to wipe butt
8) Ensure toilet is flushed and run out of bathroom to disguise noise
9) Cut call short with 5 min to sprint, 3 year old in stroller, to pick 5 year old up from kindergarten.

Repeat several times a week in order to develop good habits.

Me thinks it’s time for a bevie.