Sunday, July 20, 2008

Ramblings of a part time lunatic or boring housewife, you be the judge

That might go down as the longest post title ever here at the Khlopchyk house. I am not sure if anyone has noticed that my heart isn’t quite in my writing. I would guess you have since the stats are way down over here. I don’t really know why but I just don’t have any passion to write lately. And without the passion, the posts are uninspired and snoring. That would be boring with a touch of snore added in.

This post will be irrational and random. Kind of like me on any given day. I am trying something new, writing while I think. We’ll see if this post sees the light of day.

I have read on other sites, not my regular blog friends, but others that I peruse on occasion that it’s wrong or immoral to only comment on those people’s sites that comment on yours. Basically, if I get the right drift, it is formally frowned upon in the blogging world.

Wow, I think when I read that. See my take is a bit different, as always. I sometimes march to a different drum over here. Could be the voices in my head, jury is still out on that one.

I started this blog to keep friends and family in touch with us and our boys. And for a long time, I had about 3 readers who were not family. Turns out when you have your blog set to private not too many people can get to it. When Einstein over here figured that out, suddenly sweet wonderful people came to visit and blogging became so much more than that. I have made so many friends. I have had the pleasure of meeting some in person and I hope to meet many more.

It’s been amazing and intriguing to see who is interested in coming by here and who isn’t. There are people who I thought would be regulars who have never stopped by and those who I never dreamed would be interested who come by daily. And there are many who come but because there are no comments or emails, I’ll never know who you are.

That leads me to the comment thing. If blogging has brought me so many good friends and that has all come about through commenting on each other's sites, thereby getting to know each other, then doesn’t the whole idea that only commenting on sites where you are mutual readers being frowned upon seem kind of backwards?

Yes, that sentence will make you English majors and stellar writers cringe but bear with me okay? I am an accountant.

Blogging is about building relationships. To the extent that 1,000 woman bloggers converged in San Francisco this weekend to meet, face to face. In case you live in a box, there’s this annual blogging conference called Blogher . A couple of you were there (Hi Ladies! Glad you had fun!).

It’s all about connecting with people as far as I can tell or why, oh why, would there be a conference where most people were just excited to meet their fellow bloggers, live and in person?

There are many bloggers whom I commented on regularly in my early days of blogging, only to never hear a peep back from. I eventually realized that some people have a million readers and they couldn’t possibly connect with every one of them. But again I ask, if blogging is about relationship building, why would I continue to comment regularly?

I still pop by most of them occasionally but I barely have time to keep up with my friends blogs, I had to limit it somehow.

Then there are those in the crowd who question the safety of letting it all hang out on the internet. I see their points, but also? I think they have no idea. No idea of the 1,001 other positive things that come about because of blogging - meeting new people, sharing ideas, and the encouragement from other women to name a very small few. These things outweigh any risks by 1,000 to 1.

Or am I wrong?

I would love to get some dialogue going on this. If you have a blog, do you agree, disagree and why? If you don’t but you come by I am ever so appreciative, but why? I don’t mean why you come here to this site per se but why do you read blogs in general, what motivates you to click over?

If you aren’t comfortable commenting, email me at

The comments and emails inspire me, and if you have a blog, I don’t need to explain it to you! It’s not that we need them, but they sure to make the blood, sweat and tears we put into our post worth it.

For me, blogging has become more than a hobby. It’s an outlet for me to develop my writing skills (and yes, I am aware that they need development), document my boys as they grow up and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the comments, the connections and the encouragement keep me coming back for more.

To all of you whom with I have connected, thank you. You have touched my life in so many ways and I hope, in some small way, I was also able to touch yours in a positive light.

To family and friends, thanks for listening, it’s a joy to know that you read this. And also? Thanks for not mocking the insecurities that I float out here, I am forever grateful that you still talk to me after reading my drivel.

To those of you who remain anonymous, thank you for coming by. I would love to know you or know that you read so that I can share some of the blogging love with you.

That’s enough random for today. Hope you all had a fantastic weekend!



Misty said...

Dude. I'm screwed up, too. I don't blog surf. I don't have time to. I comment on blogs, where the effort and connection is mutual, thus being they comment back on mine. Tit for tat, I guess. I'm ALL for the one on one connection. I'm looking for friends, and I read who/what I love, which has ended up being about 15 blogs.

KATE said...

Oh Kami, that is the funniest Post Title ever! I love it! I feel the same all the time.
I love your blog & love whatever it is you're saying even if it is ramblings, that's what we're all here for! Us Moms have to stick together!! ha ha
Love it girl you're the best!

Hannah said...

Your previous commenter said it perfectly, for me: "I comment on blogs, where the effort and connection is mutual."
This is how I feel, too. It's not to say that I don't *step out* and comment on other blogs from time to time. Sometimes, I make a new blog friend by doing that. Other times, nothing comes of it. I have made wonderful friends, just like you have posted about. And THAT is what I love. I'm not into commenting on somebody's blog just because they are "cool" or "a great writer". I want that connection.

You, Kami, are one of the loveliest people I have had the pleasure of "meeting" through this thing called blogging. I'm so glad we connected. You're awesome!!

Kristin said...

I agree with you!
I started my blog for the same reason you did, and meeting people like you as turned out to be a wonderful side benefit. I totally agree with Misty "I comment on blogs, where the effort and connection is mutual."

I think there are many different reasons people have for blogging so not all the "blogging rules" can apply to everyone.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

There's rules???

I suppose we all appreciate comments, it validates our efforts and kind of makes you feel good. That being said, I probably comment more on other people's blogs than I get comments in return. Do I like that--no, but what do you do?

I do know what you mean about establishing a connection with those who comment. I used to try and e-mail every person that commented on my blog, kind of let the person know how much their effort to leave a comment was appreciated. That may have been a bit ambitious and I find myself now at least responding to each comment in the comments section on the blog entry.

I could go on but I feel I'm reaching a rambling phase and should stop.

Great post.

Elaine A. said...

I was just SO happy to see that you had a new post up in my reader - that's how I feel about you honey! But I think you kinda knew that already! : )

I would say I comment about 80% of the time. Geez, I have a lot to say (!) but my actual comment will vary whether I "know" that blogger better or not.

I try to reciprocate the comment love as much as I can but alot of the time I get distracted by something else and forget to go back to their place. Bad, I know. But there's also only so much time in a day. And I do have 2 boys that have to eat at some point...

All this to say that I am a pretty random commenter but I do TRY to comment on those who've commented at my place.

Long enough for you? ; )

Conor said...

Tell you the truth, your's is the only blog that I read, just so I can keep up your family. When you live as far away as I do, this is perfect!

Angella said...

As one who attended BlogHer, I can testify that it really is a lot about the relationships. If it wasn't, I would keep a private journal :)

Little Mommy said...

I am still trying to figure out why I blog and if it is worth it to me. Like you, I started blogging to update family and friends to what is going on in our life. Then I met some people and that was great.

I try to comment on other peoples blogs too. It is hard to comment on everyones when you are a busy mom. I appreciate comments back as well. It helps me feel supported and wanted in the blogging world I guess.

I do read your blog every time I see an update because I love to feel connected with other moms and the joys, trials, and tribulations that they face. I only ever read the blogs of other moms.

Lori said...

If you are messed up so am I. I did blog surf in the beginning, but then as I got loyal readers and found a group of blogs I like I sort of stuck with that list. If people drop by my blog, I check theirs out and often leave a message, but doesn't mean I'll go back.

I blog for myself, but I do enjoy the comments and look forward to seeing what people say about the posts I leave

Ashley said...

I absolutely agree with you that blogging is all about the relationships. Family, friends, blog friends...those are the people we spend hours (what? you don't spend hours?) compiling a blog post to entertain, inform or bore to tears with. Commenting is a two way street, you don't call up a friend and expect her to listen for an hour to you ramble without some kind of "mmHmmm", "Right on Sista" or something more intelligent. If that's how it worked, I'd probably save the phone bill and talk to my refridgerator.
Sometimes making that new friend takes being the one to leave the first comment but if after a few comments and a few visits, said blogger doesn't comment back I usually end up saying "chow" to their blog. Not out of spite but rather because I'm needy and required that kinda of maintenance. :)

Good post, glad to read your back!

LaskiGal said...

This English teacher is totally NOT cringing. I think this is a great post.

I comment as often as I can on the blogs I connect with . . . but, at times, I get lost. No doubt. My ADD kicks in and I'm overwhelmed.

But, my goal was to connect. I love that I have connected with so many . . . I have more to say which is why I will be e-mailing you :)

XO--big time!!!

teeni said...

What a sweet post! I had to read it a couple times because I liked it so much. :) I think I'm gonna go ahead and stumble it because it is certainly worth discussion. It doesn't make sense to me NOT to return visits and comments to bloggers who leave comments on your site. If you didn't it would look like you were ignoring them and they wouldn't be as likely to return. At least, that's how I would see it in their place.

Anna-borderline-bonkers-banana :) said...

Aw, Kami!
I totally followed this post, it was the kind of rambling that my head spews out regularly, you just got it out better in words than i ever could!
I totally agree about the mutual thing!
I had no idea there were rules, I am dense Like that though. I follow the beat of my own drum and love that you do too!

Kellan said...

Hi Kami - I've missed you!

I agree with you - period! The building of relationships is HUGE to why I blog!

Hope you had a good day - see you soon - Kellan

teeni said...

Oops - I meant to add, that if a person is obviously only leaving a comment to try and get a return visit but not really looking to add to the discussion or forge a real relationship, then I wouldn't bother. There are only 24 hours in a day and who can afford to waste precious time that way?

Debbie said...

I agree with a lot of what you've written here. I don't have time to blog surf, but do enjoy it when I am pointed to a new blog. Some I stay with, some I don't.

As for commenting, I comment when I have something of substance to say. You will rarely get a comment from me that just says "nice pictures" or "cute kids". But, that's how I talk too. I'm not a verbose person by any stretch of the imagination (contrary to what you may be thinking right now..) When you do start reading 3 word comments from me, it means I'm bored out of my tree.

Alex Elliot said...

I comment when I have something to say and when I'm able to say it. A lot of times I'll read a post and then the phone will ring, and I'll forget to comment. I have to say that after attending BlogHer twice, there seems to be a whole lot of different thoughts on how to handle comments and how to comment. People really do have some strong feelings about it which I was surprised by.

Kellan said...

Hey Kami - Hope you had a good day. See you later - Kellan

Karen MEG said...

Kami, this is why I SOOOOOO want to meet you!
I'm like you, I tend to comment back when people comment on mine, sort of my own little netiquette.
Sometimes I comment on other blogs and never hear back, and to be honest, they're lower on my scale (honestly, only so many hours in the day).

I always look forward to your comments and your new posts. To me, it's like a conversation that keeps going. You are such a sweetheart, and that comes out loud and clear in your writing.

Great post, thought-provoking, and just oh-so-Kami!


David Dickey said...

okay, so I am just now catching up on the blogs I love and yours is one of them! I love that I have friends all over the place now!

and your english needing developing? this engineer didn't notice! :-)

I love you and your blog and your comments that you leave on my blog. If it wasn't for all of the encouragement and accountability I get from the bloggy world, I don't know if I would be working as hard at my weight loss journey.

and I hope we get to meet soon and GO TO SIX FLAGS together!!! again, load that family on a plane and you can save hotel money and stay with us!!! the invite is open...

BeachMama said...

I guess it is a good thing that I don't know or follow all the blogging and commenting rules, then I would never read or write another blog post.

I love blogging and stopping by your blog. Some days I have a lot to say and others I have nothing, but that is the fun part about blogging, no?

Keep it up, we love you around

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Hi Kami, I just popped over from Elaine's blog and I wanted to say hello to a fellow Ukranian Canadian. I agree with you here, I totally love the connections I have made with other bloggers through comments and emails and there are plenty of blogs that I no longer comment on regularly because of that lack of back and forth. And I don't have time! So many bloggy friends, limited computer time.
Take care,