Men- o- WHAT?

First of all, thank you, thank you, and more thank you's for all the wonderful comments on my last post. I know it was whiney but I feel so much better for having gotten it off my chest. All your comments were like food for my soul and I can't thank you enough.

I have an inkling as to what some of the issue with my lack of inspiration to post.

You see, my body is going through a change right now and this change started about two years ago. I was in denial about it for a long time. I had all the symptoms but I was WAY too young.

Hot flashes, check
Irregular cycle, check
Mood swings, Hell to the yeah!

The hot flashes I chocked up to my new found love of coffee and the caffeine it contains. A simple switch to decaf should cover that. July and the sweat that poured off of me such that I frequently stuck my head in the freezer proved that little theory wrong. Just to clarify, I was the only one sweating, including my mother. No, she was laughing hysterically at me like I did at her when she was in the throes of menopausal hot flashes. We love each other like that.

Irregular cycles are nothing new to me, it took us much longer than planned to have Kamden due to 90 day plus cycles. And really, when not trying to get pregnant, you won't find me complaining about 90 days without Aunt Flo.

Recently, my doctor confirmed after several blood tests, my hormone levels are indeed that of a woman in menopause. Try to keep back tears when you are told that at age 34. I double dog dare you.

But in reality it was the initial shock and that has worn off. We are done having kids, so no concern there. I could have a bazzillion other things that would be much more severe. It just menopause.

Ha! Maybe that's an oxymoron.

Despite the diagnosis, I hadn't considered that I was suffering from moood swings until about 3 weeks ago. I had an emotional break down. Complete with headache inducing sobbing. Oh yeah, it was all kinds of glamourous.

I was talking to my mom when I started crying. I was talking about my oldest son and how he is way too much like me. Shy and too easily contented to sit on the sidelines not joining in with the other kids. It pretty much breaks my heart. The tears started.

Then the dam broke.....

All the stuff eating at me for the last little while spilled out, the least of which was Jack's shyness by the way.

It was liberating to let it out.

Not that I had been holding it in per se but I was holding back. Trying not to let stuff bother me, trying to pretend it didn't bother me as much as it really and honestly did.

But my mom, ever the wise one, suggested that maybe, just maybe, the sobbing mess that was her daughter at that moment could be because of the low hormone levels.

AHA moment, AHA moment (thanks for that Oprah).

So off I went to the doctor to discuss something I was previously adverse to. Hormone replacement therapy. Sounds fancy doesn't it?

It's not. It's the pill. That's right the same one millions of women use as birth control. At my age, that's all I need.

I am not overly keen on the pill for a few reasons, one being that Jay has gone through the procedure to make it impossible for us to have any more kids, the other being that I have heard the hormones are getting into our water supply and can't be removed. If that isn't frightening, I don't know what is.

But the lows, the valleys if you will. They were killing me slowly. It was time to do something. So had to put aside my reservations and go on the pill. It was for everyone's safety, trust me.

Alas, it's been three weeks and the sting of most of the stuff of my last post is lessening. And maybe, just maybe it is partly due to the balance that has been restored to my homone levels.

Either way, it's good to be me again.