Rut of magnificent proportions

I haven’t had the urge to write much lately…at least not that I could or would share here. I actually have a couple things that I would very much like to write about.

In fact, I did do a whole post on one of the events of late, one that really made me angry. However, the post is ranty and could be very hurtful should the person involved in the event read it. Since the whole blowup was about hurtful words and taking responsibility for your own words and how they might be interpreted, I best not be a hypocrite. However, writing about it helped me a great deal as it is want to do.

The other is an issue I would like to write about because it is one of those gut wrenching things, things that are not supposed to happen to anyone let alone a friend. But it is not my story to tell therefore I have no business writing about it here.

So I come to the rut that I am in. The one where I just can’t seem to find the time, let alone the passion to write about anything. And really, this shouldn’t surprise me because I am not a writer, I have never been a writer. Frankly stringing four words together in a coherent sentence was a feat for me not so long ago. I think I string them okay now but the coherent part might be up for debate.

When I started this site I had barely written anything beyond the bazillion or so accounting exams to obtain my accounting designation and, those frankly don’t count. Not too much feeling or passion in a business case response.

But in the first year or two I was a posting machine, posts up the ying yang, almost daily. Lately I seem to be lucky if I can pull together one post a week.

I think I might know why and I might even write about it because writing is good therapy and that topic will hopefully not offend anyone.

I also started worrying endlessly that my words here might be offending to some. And after being offended by someone’s words, that really hit home. I am always surprised at who reads this and who doesn’t. Some of my closest friends do and some of them don’t. Why I wonder?

I wonder if my posts offend people. I guess some of them must. I am very opinionated, I’ll be the first to admit it and it’s almost impossible not to offend someone when you express your opinion.

I have some super awesome friends in the flesh, and without them (and my family both immediate and extended), life would be fairly dull and lonely. They are supportive, even when I might be wrong, and for that, and about 1,000 other things, I love them dearly.

Life is about the relationships that you forge, not the stuff you accumulate. However, lately, some of those relationships seem to be accumulating baggage. And not the good kind, no fancy clothes or yummy treats but rather emotional baggage.

I tried to work one of those out by expressing my issues. It got me nowhere fast. And by nowhere I actually mean spitting mad. Nothing like being told your opinion doesn’t really matter to stoke a fire. I gave up. The relationship will survive, because we are family. But is it broken? Most definitely. At least civility will reign but beyond that only time will tell.

The other one, I haven’t even touched yet. With everything that’s be going on, I am not in the mood to tackle it. But I will because that relationship is VERY important to me and it will be saved. I know it will. All friendships have rocky periods and this is just one of them.

So there it is. My heart on my sleeve as always. Bear with me my friends, I will climb out of this rut if it’s the last thing I do.

Either that or I will grow thicker skin and get over myself. That would be a good thing I am certain.