A Man (boy) of Few Words

I am married to a man of few words. When asked how his day was, he has been known to reply, well it's over. Classic, no?

Thankfully that does not describe him in his entirety. He does talk about his day, when he can get a word in edgewise for all my babbling. Jay, Kamden ate a carrot for lunch, Jay, I had a cup of coffee, Jay I got some work done....and so on and so forth.

See?

He is bombarded with the mundane details of my day, when I am done, the silence probably feels good.

He is also my bestest friend in the universe (what am I 12?) and we talk about everything and anything. Sometimes I even shut up long enough to hear what he has to say. And guess what? He rarely disappoints. He keeps me in check. Trust me. I need him.

Together, we created this adorable creature.

I know! You want to dine on thighs. I hear you.

By this age (around one year) he had a healthy vocabulary, one of his first words was "ditty" for dirty. I need to pull out the videos and watch some of that cuteness.

By two he was speaking in full sentences.

By the time he was three, he had no baby accent left. He actually never really did, at least not in comparison to his younger brother, who at age four, still has one (not that I am complaining, I love it!).

At three he started preschool and upon arriving home, would tell me, in great detail, everything that his blanket had done at school that day. At that time, his blanket was like his imaginary friend and everything he did, his blanket did too. I loved it. Here was my boy, who told me everything. I was in denial that it would last forever.

By the time he hit Kindergarten, the answers to my questions about school were becoming yes or no's. Sigh. It was already starting. You know, the man traits. Whereby they become men of few words. Or in this case, boy.

When prompted with specific questions, he will let loose with some details of the day. But only when he is in the mood. I get it. He's been stimulated all day at school, when he comes home he is ready to decompress. Maybe relax with a drink. What is he 35 yo CEO?

I kid, I kid. Even kids need to decompress. They need to be kids. They need to play with the millions of toys that clutter the house (No, I never threaten to get rid of the toys when they claim there is nothing to do. WHO would do that?)

At school all day he is busy sitting still, learning, absorbing and maybe having a little fun too. I know when he gets home, he is ready to leave that all behind.


But my boy, who used to be with me 24-7, is now away from me for five hours a day, with a short lunch break which consists of questions about what he wants for lunch, requests to quit running around the living room and come and eat already, to admonishments about chewing with his mouth closed (please teach your children this skill if you want them to have any friends when they are adults - trust me on this one) and for the love of all that is holy, eat over your plate already.

Lunch is then inhaled, dishes are put away (also teach them that useful skill - how hard is it to put dishes in the dishwasher?) and the crumb festival that remains is swept up and off to school he goes again.

As a mother, I want to retain a connection with my son. One that will last a lifetime but not one that involves him still living in my basement when he is 35. Nor do I want to be the kind of mother that his wife feels she has to compete with. Who wants to be THAT mother? Where I want to be is somewhere smack dab in the middle of that.

I feel like the sheer quantity of time he is away from me is pulling him a little bit further away.

I know I can't have him forever. He has to fly out on his own. I just hope that every now and then he'll call to tell me what's up. And stop by for dinner every now and then. You know, if we live in the same city. What? Following him around the country isn't cool? All I am saying is that he moves somewhere warm, you know, like NOT the Arctic, Jay and I might move too. You know, to see the grandkids.

This boy? This creation of our love? He is pretty damn amazing and I hope he always lets us in on a little bit of that.

I guess we should be building skills now to survive the black hole of teenage hood, no?

Weekend Randomness

I was going to post an interview with each of my boys. It would be stinkin' hilarious, because, you know, my boys are stinkin' hilarious.

I sat Jack down and it went like this:

1. What is something Mommy always says to you?
*crickets*

2. What makes Mommy happy?
*holds breath - face turns red*

3. What makes Mommy sad?
*shrugs shoulders emphatically*

Lather, rinse repeat.

Operation interview boys was a complete and utter failure. I figured it was pointless to interview Kamden, mostly because I didn't have the energy to catch him first.

I now have an appointment with my doctor to ask for a referral to a gynecologist. I am understandably elated by this prospect. I am sure it will go something like this:

Doctor: what can I do for you?
Me: I would like to be referred to a gynecologist.
Doctor: Okay, I will do up a letter.
Me: Thanks.

This will take approximately 2.4 seconds however, the drive over one way, 15 minutes. Efficient, no? I asked if this could be done over the phone, of course, the answer was no.

Health care: you gotta bang your head against a brick wall repeatedly or it just ain't working right.

And winter is still here, signed sealed and delivered, it's ours.

We are understandably elated.

In other, less negative news, Jay and I are preparing to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in early May. We can't afford to go anywhere that requires airfare so we are in the process of looking into some weekend away opportunities. It's not as easy to make a decision as one might think! And relatively inexpensive but romantic suggestions are welcome.

We also watched Robots yesterday, Robin Williams is hilarious. That is all.

Kami, O-U-T.

CMB Post

I have a post up at Canada Moms Blog about morphing from Mommy to Mom. Check it out if you are interested.

Hormones Shmoremones

Back in November I mentioned that I am, at the age of almost 35, menopausal. It's all kinds of awesome in case you were wondering.

Today, after having been on the pill to manage my symptoms (hot flashes, mood swings and all that fun stuff) I went to visit my doctor for a follow up.

She asked what she could do for me today. I explained that the pill has helped immensely with my symptoms and that I was doing really well.

Her reply was that we should put me on hormone replacement therapy.

(Insert WTF very loudly in my head.)

I thought that's what the pill was, I said. Well yes, it's a form of it, she replied.

I asked why do I need it? She goes on to tell me that I have probably gone through "the menopause" by now.

(Insert next WTF?)

In six months I am now through the process? And you know this without having done any blood work or test of any kind?

I was blindsided by all of this. So much so that the only faculties I had about me were to decline the hormone replacement and ask to remain on the pill.

Okay, we'll leave you on the pill she says.

I went in to the appoinment, feeling like I knew what was going on and how I was going to manage it. Now, I feel like I have no idea.

What I do know is that I am frightened of hormone replacement therapy. There is so much controversy surrounding it. At my age, is is a good idea?

To say that I am confused and feeling helpless is an understatement. I have so many questions, all which became obvious to me on the drive home. A little slow on the uptake there brain, thanks.

WTH do I do now?

UPDATE: why didn't I think of this? My bro, also a pharmacist, had the same reaction, WTF. He told me to get myself to a specialist, ie a gyno. Of course! It's so obvious. That tells you how blindsided I was.

Stinking Adorable

I know, I know, bad me, this is a copyrighted photo. It was not taken by me, but by a professional. But it is too stinking cute not to share.

I could eat him. Seriously, can we freeze him, just like this, just for a bit?

Weekend Update

Can you tell we watched SNL last night? We don't usually and now I remember why, it's not my kind of humour for the most part. We only watched to see Kelly Clarkson. I love her and her new song.

Moving on...to the weather of course. After I griped about it, Old Man Winter seems to have cashed it in. There has been sun, accompanied by warmth, a warmth we haven't felt for months which has resulted in the creation of copious amounts of puddles. It was warm, and melting and there has been much rejoicing. We know it's not completely over because that's just not how it works, but the worst is most likely over. Murphy, please don't rear your head over that statement. Pretty please?

And in other news? My run this morning?

A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

Apparently, this training thing mimics life. Peaks and valleys, highs and lows, good and bad. Last week easily fits into the valley category. Actually the last two weeks which didn't end until yesterday when Friday's hoopla of a headache finally ceased. It was a real pain the neck (pun intended). Tylenol is my new hero. Advil was not working so I tag teamed them and that finally did the trick.

Today I tackled 9.5 miles and this week, I can tell, is going to be a peak. Again a personal record for distance, topping the 8 miles of two weeks ago.

Ten minutes into the run I knew it was going to be a good one. I paced myself, I was in that place where I cease to think about the physicality of running and settle in to enjoy the music.

The other bonus was that up until now, I have been running on 200 meter indoor track, you know on account of living in the Arctic. I no like running in -30 degree weather. I am a wuss. I am good with that. But today? It was a balmy -3 (pick up your chins up you Texans and Californian girls that is balmy to us Eskimos) so I ran outside.

Other than the few treacherous patches of ice, it was gorgeous and the scenery was so much more interesting that the walls of the building that house the indoor track. Funny that.

At the half way point, I was feeling spectacular, you know, for having already run 4.75 miles anyway, so I picked up the pace ever so slightly. I was heading home. I am like a horse, the trip home is much faster than the trip away from home.

Then my left knee started squawking. WTH? I stop to stretch my quads and this typically helps when a knee twinges. This was more than a twinge though. This was a pain. It felt better but as I got closer and closer to home...not so much.

I think I might have done something to the bugger but I am not panicking yet. I will rest it and see where it's at later in the week. I may seek professional help before I really do something serious. After all this is not about wrecking my body. If it can't do it, it can't do it. I have already surpassed my expectations, I'll be okay with that.

Anyway, that's my long winded, rather trite weekend update. If you are still with me I would like to thank all of you gave me such nice, helpful and encouraging comments on my last two posts. You all are the best!

Oh and I have now become a die hard fan of sports drinks. Electrolytes are some seriously good stuff!

And that's a wrap folks.

Opportunity Knocked

Last week, an email popped into my inbox from a famous Canadian Blogger asking I was interested in contributing to a new Canadian Blog being set up. After I thought about it for the nanosecond that it took me to hit the reply button, I responded with a resounding, of course I am interested.

So I got set up on Typepad, now there's an interesting beast, complete with phone call to the tech person because it was requiring my credit card to set up a free guest account. Hmmm, I am no scholar but I am fairly certain no credit cards are required for something that is "free".

I wrote my bio, in the second person, as required. Uploaded my picture fully aware that I am sick of that one but have no time to figure out something better and got to thinking on my first post.

In the meantime, I discovered that the opportunity was all because the lovely Angella recommended me. I am humbled that she would consider me and oh so thankful. She also linked me yesterday and as a result I had more hits in one day than I usually get in a week.

To say that I am giddy about this whole opportunity is an understatement. I am honoured and a bit in shock, still, that anyone wants to read my ramblings here, let alone ask me to contribute to something so much bigger.

So what did I write about for my first post? Why, the weather of course. When it is -35 Celsius a mere eight days before the spring equinox, I am sorry but it was all I could think about.

Without further ado, here is my first post on Canada Moms Blog!

Put me out of my misery already

I mentioned a bit back that I was training for a half marathon in April. As of today, that is exactly seven weeks from now, which means I have completed ten weeks of training. The training consists of a short run, about 5km, mid-week and a run on Sunday, alternating long and short (3 or 4 miles) every other week. The long ones keep getting longer, building me up to the race distance of 13 miles.

Last week, I ran the longest distance I have ever run in my life. I completed 8 miles or 12.8km. Less than half way, my thought to myself was, "today, this is going to hurt".

Self fulfilling prophecy? Maybe. Or my body being brutally honest with me?

I wanted to quit so bad but knew that I couldn't. I have to do the distances laid out in my training schedule or I won't be prepared for the race. And 13 miles, without properly preparing....well let's just say that I ain't seen nothing yet if I thought it hurt last week.

So I did it. I finished. I didn't worry about my time. My goal for the race is to finish it. The time is irrelevant.

But the problem is that since I finished last Sunday I have had a perpetual headache. I am not prone to headaches. I normally get one or two a year. I have been popping the drugs left right and center. Don't worry, they are legal.

And tired. Have I mentioned how tired I am? I have been sleeping fine. I normally get eight to eight and half hours every night. And I need that much, trust me. If I don't get my sleep I turn into something from Night of the Living Dead. It isn't pretty, take my word for it. Or anyone who knows me, really.

My work has gotten obscenely busy in the last couple of weeks so the stress levels are up. It happens but once a year and it is a good time to put some money in the bank, or pay my taxes, whatever.

So what is it? The running or the stress?

I am eating enough to fuel a small army and still I am tired. And the headache, while I get some relief, keeps coming back.

Is this my body testing me? Is it testing me physically because mentally I am committed and not wavering from my goal?

For now I will keep going, trying to listen to my body the best I can and take it easy on the short runs. Like today, I was scheduled to do 4 miles. By 2.5 my body was screaming NO. I quit at 3 and quickly sought the approval of my adviser of all things running. Thanks Cheryl, I needed confirmation that I do need to listen to my body. It is smart, it knows its limits.

I will keep going. My goal, it is still attainable so long as I eat right, drink lots of water and rest when I should rest.

And I know this pain, this physical and emotional stress I am feeling, is so much less than some have to endure. And so I do this in honour of them.

If you need me, I'll be downing a side of beef with a protein shake chaser.

Redemption

Winter, beautiful if viewed from a safe, warm distance, like your computer screen from Texas

Kamden and his best pal, Logan

The last two days winter has redeemed itself in my eyes, if only slightly. It has warmed up, the snow has started to melt and the sun has been shining with a warmth we haven't felt in months up here in the Arctic.

But don't worry, the forecast calls for winter to rear it's ugly yet familiar face yet again beginning tomorrow.

If you need me, I'll be giving winter a wedgie with a handful of snow thrown down for good measure.