Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The On Going Effect of THAT Diet

Way back in October, I had the crazy idea that I should pursue alternative methods to maintain my health. You will recall that I was advised, by a naturopathic doctor, to do an elimination diet, or as I like to refer to it, THAT diet. Wherein THAT is a four letter word uttered with much disgust and spit. I quit after only two weeks on account of feeling like crapola on a stick.

I thought that was the end of it. I already knew I was mildly lactose intolerant long before embarking on my very short journey into alternative medicine.

You might be thinking that I didn't give it enough of a chance. And you might be right but, humour me, okay?

So in the weeks after I re-introduced dairy accompanied by the most useful product known to man, Lactaid tablets, I realized that I am no longer mildly lactose intolerant. Now I am full on, hardcore, show no mercy lactose intolerant.

(insert profanity here)

Prior to THAT diet, I could eat a square of chocolate without Lactaid and have no ill effects. After, well, one square is enough to set my stomach into overdrive. Those who know me, know that Kami without chocolate is a fish without water. This fish is now land bound. And not happy about it neither.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Balls

It's as if the complete abstinence from diary for two weeks resulted in any natural enzymes to digest dairy that my body once possessed to disappear.

I know, I know, one does not need dairy to survive. However, life is for living and food is an integral part of living for me. Life without dairy is not a path I wish to embark on. Pizza, nachos, tacos, my favourite Greek chicken with feta, the list is endless. I am all for eating healthy but a girl's gotta treat herself every now and then.

Now that treat requires copious amounts of Lactaid.

I highly recommend you buy stock in the company.

(insert further profanity here)


R Royal Family said...

Well that sucks, and to think you even paid money to mess with a good thing

Elaine A. said...

Oh hon, so sorry!

BTW, I gave up chocolate for Lent. Can you believe it? My husband may end up asking me to eat some VERY soon...;0

Angella said...

Oh, NO. That is SO NOT COOL.


Lori: Teacher Turned Mommy said...

oh yuck... that so does not sound like fun to me. everything is better with cheese... right?

Cheryl said...

Kami, I feel your pain...chocolate is a requirement in any female diet...there is no lactose free chocolate out there?

Cheryl said...

Kami, I feel your pain...chocolate is a requirement in any female diet...there is no lactose free chocolate out there?

Kristin said...

That sucks! :(
Wheat and dairy are such a huge part of out north American diet, I can imagine that it makes cooking rather difficult if you have to avoid one of them.

Anonymous said...

kami ...are those brown things in the picture breast implants?

mamatucci said...

ahh crap! I try to give up pepsi all the time and the horrible massive caffiene headaches almost kill me. (well maybe not kill me) So I feel for you for sure

Anonymous said...

You have got to see this. Obama playing on XBox. Funniest video ever.

A Crafty Mom said...

Oh that's not fun at all! I remember when you did that diet - I had tried one too and I just felt so awful. But no dairy is cause for alarm. If I find some non-dairy chocolate you will be the first on my list to tell!!!