I read this article some time last week when someone linked to it on Facebook about Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior or some such statement.
How could I not read that?
Go on, you know you want to read it.
At first I was horrified. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I could picture the scene at the piano, going over and over the same piece. The yelling. The belittling.
I felt sick that this woman was defending this type of parenting.
Then she made her point. Her daughter was so happy when she finally could play the piece. It was fun.
And I thought, huh, okay, maybe it is not so bad.
Then I started considering some of the ideals she upheld. No TV. No video games. No point in doing something unless you are the best.
Hmmm. So no fun allowed then?
And what if you are pushing your child to be the best at something even though it is not something they would ever choose.
How does a child know what they want to do? This is highly influenced by their parents, I would argue. You can't tell me that girl cared a whit if she was that good at playing the piano. No, what she cared about was making her mother stop yelling.
I am simplifying it highly but my point is that perhaps that style of parenting creates adults who can play Carnegie Hall. So what?
What does that accomplish in the grand scheme of life?
Is that the most fulfilling thing that person will ever do?
I really and truly hope not.
And my gut tells me forcing them to be the best piano player or soccer player will sabatoge that goal beyond belief.
So I choose to be less superior.
And I am okay with that. More than words can say.