Monday, August 13, 2007

Internal Conflict Coupled with Internet Love

There are days when I feel like should question this whole blogging thing, or use of the internet for personal purposes period.

Once a month I gather with some fellow moms for good food, company and camaraderie. Last month the topic of discussion drifted towards Facebook. About half the group, including myself, are members. The other half is not. Many of them were very vocal about why and it had me questioning my own beliefs about it.

Do I consider that my family may be at risk when I post pictures of them on the internet?

Do I just ignore this risk because of the gratification that I get?

Should I remove all the pictures and now?

Internally I was torn between what I believe and the beliefs of others. Nothing new really but what was different about this was the fact that I started feeling like I was putting my kids in some terrible danger.

Then I stopped, shook my head and took a deep breath.

Every day is a day exposed to grave danger for the simple act of being.

We could be hit by a bus. They could run out into the street and be run over. A crane could crash into our house as we sleep (it really happened just a neighborhood over – the power company is in hot water now!).

I am a social person. I am also a SAHM. My computer is my network. Without it I would be rocking in a straight jacket in a mental institution by now.

The point is that my connections through the internet are my lifeline. I have made some pretty cool reconnections through Facebook and a few have even gone further than the internet. I was terrible at keeping in touch with people over the years and now, Facebook gave me the opportunity to re-connect. Some connections will continue, some died for a reason. Either way, we get a second chance to find out.

My blog has become an extension of me. I have fostered a love of writing that I didn’t even know existed. I used to have trouble forming a coherent sentence. Now the verbiage spills out of me like a volcano erupting. It may still not be coherent but it gives me an outlet for my creativity – which is all contained in my left pinky toenail by the way– and has fostered new connections that bring me so much gratification. Lately, things have been humming over here. I have been getting sweet comments from my regulars Angella ,Candace , my wonderful hubby Jay, and Mom and some new people too, a great big hi and thanks for visiting to Hannah, Kristin, LVGurl -she even linked me in an ode to Canada post – colour me happy! - and Beach Mama.

I could lie and say that I do this for fun and that the comments don’t matter but that would be a big fat fib. The comments, well, let’s just say that until quite recently I was getting a bit disgruntled with the fact that the traffic here was really sparse, and the comments were limited to my two devoted readers, Candace and Angella. I had stopped posting all that much because, honestly, the fact that no one was reading it was really not helping with the creativity. When it’s as limited as mine, outside intervention is required. Not to mention that I was starting to think that I must be the biggest loser ever because people might stop by once never to return. Surely, it had to be me, I'm insecure like that.

However, the most important reason I keep this going (aside from the personal validation) is that it keeps our extended family (Hi Mom, Dad, Mom-in-law, Dad-in-law, Michelle) connected to us. We live in a different city and while we talk on the phone frequently, they miss the day to day stuff. It gives me so much satisfaction to know that they get to experience this with us even though it’s not in person. And they keep coming back too, so they must enjoy it a little bit too, either that or they get a kick out me making a fool of myself. Whatever works.

In summary, this here blog, my friends, is a GOOD thing. The paybacks are priceless. I am a happier person which means my kiddos get a happy mommy and Jay comes home to a fulfilled wife. Plus I get to make new connections in cyberspace, which, by the way, is a pretty cool place.

Until such time as I see it as a threat to my cubs, I'll be here, rambling on.


Hannah said...

I agree completely, Kami. I've joined Facebook and have met up with many old friends, some of whom I haven't seen since school! I'm planning a face-to-face reunion with one of my very good school friends later this month! I don't see the harm in joining Facebook, to be honest. You can set your profile to be only visible to your friends, who you MUST approve before they can see your details. And of course don't approve strangers, and you'll be fine!

Same with blogging, really. I don't include personal details about exactly where I live, or my phone number, or anything like that. I don't see blogging and posting photos of my kids as dangerous. Like you, I do it for the love of writing, and so my friends and family can keep up with what we are doing! And I have made SO MANY wonderful friends through the internet! Really nice people, some of whom I have gone on to meet in real life ... and guess what? They are normal! LOL! ;-)

I totally "get" this post. And I say keep blogging, sister! I love reading your posts.

Angella said...

I completely agree with what you have written, and have struggled with it myself.

But for now? I think the positives FAR outweigh the negatives.

And as for Facebook, it's even safer - you get to pick who sees your stuff...(not that I've logged in i na week :)

You are a great writer and I love your sense of humour. Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

I read your blog almost everyday. If you were to quit I don't know what I would do with myself!!! Keep it up!!

The Foulds said...

I agree! I agree!
And comments DO matter!!

Anonymous said...

in this world you cannot protect everyone from everybody and that includes the off spring...i look forward each day to hearing and viewing pictures about whats happening with you (my kids) and the grandkids...DON`T stop i`ve remarked to jay many times, he chose wisely in picking you for a lifetime partner...L

BeachMama said...

Hang in there, the more you go out and read other blogs the more people will find you. That was how I found you and figured with your heat wave you must live in the same city as my Sister and look at that, you go :). Blogs are good, sometimes you get a tonne of readers other times you don't. But the record keeping is incredible.

teeni said...

It sounds like you have the right attitude about the whole blogging thing and posting personal info/pics/whatever. You have to live life, not be afraid to. If someone really wanted to "get" you they would find a way and wouldn't need to use the internet to do so. You can't live in fear about those things. As long as you feel comfortable with what you post and use appropriate safeguards then that is the best that can be done and nobody should make you feel like you are doing something irresponsible. Oops - I really just was stopping by to congratulation you on receiving Hannah's Nice Matters award! So congratulations! ;)

Hannah said...

Hey Kami - Check out my blog - you have won an award!

LVGurl said...

I'm always moving in and out of a blog crisis: "Why am I doing this again?"

But it's fun, I'm "meeting" nice bloggers and reading the words of some very talented (and funny) people!

This Internet thing really is a SAHM's lifeline, huh...?

p.s. Thanks for the shout out! :)

Anonymous said...

Every day of life is a gamble. You do what you got to do to stay sane and live life to the fullest. You have raised some smart kids. Hopefully that is a good start to keeping them safe.
They will thank you later in life for documenting all the events in their life.

Keep it up.

The boys