Monday, March 15, 2010
Each friend we have in life touches us in a different way. In so many different ways, really. Friends can:
make us think
hurt us unintentionally
make us question ourselves
say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time
make us laugh until we cry happy tears
And so on and so forth.
I believe that each friendship teaches us something not only about ourselves but how we interact with others. Whether the friendships stands the test of time or is but a blip in time, we take something from each and every one.
As I think back over my life, I analyze the friendships that have come and gone. Why did they end? Do I miss them?
Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes it is yes. Sometimes I don't even know.
It's irrelevant really. This life is a journey and each friend is a stop point along the way.
Sometimes though, there is a darker more sinister side. Actually that's a bit dramatic. What I mean is, not all friendships are healthy. Sometimes, in fact, they are quite the opposite.
I am easily influenced by what my friends are doing. If so and so is suddenly into macrame, well by golly gee, I suddenly seem to have developed a need to macrame myself (that sounds dirty but I am pretty sure it's not). That's just a random hypothetical example, trust me I couldn't macrame a bookmark if my life depended on it.
I have noticed this though, and sometimes it is best to distance myself from people because I am being influenced and changing into someone I don't recognize. This is not their fault, it is mine entirely.
I'll give you a better example.
Once I was talking to an acquaintance and she mentioned that she had a friend who was obsessed about what was in every single thing her and her family were eating. I asked the acquaintance if that influenced her to start worrying about that too and she said yes, very much so. To the point that she had to distance herself from this friend because she hardly knew herself anymore.
I found that validating because I too, have done the same. Sometimes, no matter how hard you want a friendship to work or remain, it just isn't the best thing. Sometimes, influence isn't necessarily a good thing because as humans, we all possess, to some extent, the need to keep up the Jone's.
I have this dilemma sometimes. How do I stay true to myself and keep from getting caught up in what my friends' are doing? Have they suddenly taken up macrame? Do I need to take it up too?
Surely I am not the only one who finds themselves being swept up in what others are doing?
Jay is a good sounding board with this kind of thing and for the most part, he keeps me in check.
I am interested though, do you sit back and evaluate things like this? Maybe I need to find a hobby and stop over analyzing?
I want to know what you think. Comments have been down over here of late. You all are coming by but not saying hi (ha, I am a poet and I didn't know it). Maybe this will be the post that gets you to pipe in?